I made my last post sound a little over the top I think. My 2 hours of exercise is 1 hour cardio 5 days a week my second hour of the day is after the kids are in bed, laying on the floor while I enjoy watching my favorite tv shows and do my crunches, pelvic lifts, weights, push ups, etc. It is very low key and not really a full hour because I rest in between and don't sweat or anything, it is just enjoyable and part of my nightly routine. I also don't do it EVERY night but most nights.
I know myself very well and realize that I can slip up very easily since I already have started the slippery slope back to where I used to be. The worry over surgery has already sent me back to my old favorites of mashed potatoes, rolls, crackers, cookies, ect. Sadly I feel like I am justified in eating them because I want their comfort.
I realize that it will be only a couple months before I can be back to my regular routine. Hopefully I'll be able to at least walk on the tredmill a little a week or two after surgery.
Unless you have lived as a morbidly obese person since being a baby and just finally reached your goal weight after 18 months of extremely hard work You can not possibly understand how I am feeling right now. I worry and I think that's ok. I will have the surgery and heal and get back to living a healthy life but I hate medication, I always have. I don't even take Tylenol except a few times in my life when having a migraine or with strep throat. I don't like the idea of needing pain meds. I don't like anything that will change my mind to not think clearly or to numb things. Enough of that... I hope my thoughts seem more understandable than my previous post. If not, that is how I feel and I am willing to own them as mine.
Why I smile everyday!
We are very blessed to be an eternal family.
5 comments:
We're supporting you, Becky. You have lots of friends and family behind you.
You've worked really hard to get here. I think you will bounce back more quickly than you think, and in the meantime you will be able to find ways to keep moving without hurting yourself. Trust yourself. Add some cocoa to your smoothie and sip it slowly. Breathe deeply. Repeat positive affirmations. You can do this. Look what you have done already.
Remember how I looked when Jim & I got married? I looked great--I weighed what you weigh now. I thought I was finally where I wanted to be. But, I knew I was not done with life--I had the blessing of becoming a mom--and now, after Ethan, I am within probably 50 lbs or so (not really sure--I try hard NOT to think of the details as it's depressing) of that ideal weight at which I started. And now that I know we have brought all the spirits we can into this world, I know that I will now be able to SLOWLY focus on my target weight again. And I will get there and I can't wait, but it will take time and I will have setbacks (like having to work so I can't even think of being able to exercise as religiously as you) and I am okay with that because those four babies were worth the pounds. But, I did it once--I know I can do it--I WILL do it again.
And it's okay if it's 10-20 lbs. So what--you're alive and happy and you'll lose them when your body is better. I wish I lived closer so I could help you, but know that we are thinking and praying for you. When exactly is teh surgery?
I got my gallbladder out when I was 18. It was painful but I felt like I was ready to go back to life after about 10 days. It hurts, but you won't be down for more than a month (at the most). Good luck :)
The surgery will be either the 31st or Feb 1st. I meet with the surgeon on Wednesday to finalize plans.
most poeple actually loose after surgery anyway.....too much sometimes! Either way, you will be fine! You are determined and will get back to where you want to be no matter what! Take care of yourself first or it won't matter anyway!
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